old dog

A few dear friends lost their dogs recently and I approache the girls with the issue. I mentioned that Heidi in a few years would not be with us anymore, but that we had plenty of time to enjoy her. They do love Heidi and I want them to enjoy and treasure the precious moments we have with her.
Rachel experienced the death of her grandpa this year and knows that it is ok to cry when we feel sad. Yesterday Rachel wanted me to read her old birthday cards and I choked on one: the last one my father wrote to her. She asked me why I was crying, put her fingers on my cheeks and said: "don't be sad maman, I miss papi too".

upcoming trip

as you know I will be leaving for Belgium next Wednesday and I do hope I will still arrive on time. Dad is now in the hospital, doesn't eat, doesn't move and has developed high fever. These moments are too painfull and it is always too early to have to say good-bye to one of our parents.
when I think that one day my children will have to go throught what I'm going through and will be in so much pain, it is not fair -- but nothing is fair when it comes to death.

mort de quoi?

I always have loved Disney fairy tales and so does Rachel. But now as a mom I found them sometimes scary for little girls (dead princesses, scary witches, hunter sent to kill snow white in the woods, ...).

These last 2 evenings have been wonderful. A colleague gave me books in French and we have spent a lot of time reading them sitting the 3 of us on the sofa in the living room before their bed time.
When I took them to their bedroom (8pm) Natalie sat on Rachel's bed insisting that I read her another book (more at her level) and Rachel took advantage of these extra minutes to play with her Dora car and her little dog behind the wheels.
- Maman, my dog drives on his own because he does not have his parents, they are dead
- Dead??? dead of what
- Dead of hunger
- ...
I will have to talk to her to find out what she understands about death.


- Maman, mon petit chien (en plastique de 5 cms qu'elle a ramene de la creche) conduit la voiture tout seul car il n'a plus ses parents.
- Pourquoi il n'a plus ses parents
- parce qu'ils sont morts?
- Morts? ... Morts de quoi (oui je sais j'aurais pu dire "comment" mais c'est l'expression qui m'est venue tout de suite)
- hum... morts de faim

Mon dieu, tous ces comptes de fee de blanche neige, de cendrillon ... parfois je me demande si ils ont bien ecrits pour des enfants.